August 7, 2008

lectio: right thinking

Sunday’s lectio 8.10.08: I Kings 19; Matthew 14

today’s lectio Matthew 16

Initially the word "saw" from "But when he saw how strong the wind was" called my attention. Peter is actually walking on water until he sees how strong the wind is and it scares him. He cried out, Jesus grabs him, saves him and tells him he has little faith, asks him why he doubts.

What does he doubt? He doubts his or Jesus’ power over the storm? He doubts he can walk on water when a storm is coming? Isn’t it wise to see that a storm is coming, something beyond my strength, and call out for help?

Wait. A few verses back the folks on the shore fear they see a ghost in the early, early mist predawn. Jesus says "Take courage" because it’s himself. Peter calls back, "IF" . . . there’s the doubt. Peter doubts Jesus’ identity and calls out a condition for faith—that he will be able to walk on water just as Jesus is doing.

The doubt doesn’t seem to be about the ability to walk on water, or the capacity to survive the storm.

Maybe Jesus is asking, "Why did you insist on putting yourself in harm’s way? What is this ego demonstration? To take on what is beyond you to prove I am who I say? You changed the issue to become something about you—believing you could do something supernatural that would prove how cool you are or how much God loves you by doing something "miraculous"—rather than simply believing what I say—that it’s me out here on the water walking toward you. You cannot do what I do simply because your motivation, doubt, fear, beliefs that the elements have power to destroy prevents you from breaking the laws of gravity of your own doubt."

This is a difficult lesson because gravity is a beautiful thing—keeps my mess in place. But that’s not the point. The point is right thinking. Pure mind and heart. It is hard work and no work at all.

What if Peter had said, "O Jesus! It’s you!" Then, with the excitement and trust of a child, had run out across the water to meet him—oblivious (in a sense) to the wind and the water? I bet he would have been "successful"—because he wouldn’t have been attached to the wind or the water but to the delight of being with the One.

It’s about what I see. It’s about what I think. The work of it is in letting go (Matthew 16, today’s lectio reading)—that’s the key to living in the abundance of God.

The Old Testament reading of I Kings 19 says God is found...

not in the disastrous wind

not in the destructive earthquake

not in the annihilating fire

but in the tiny whispering sound. . .